In adulthood, estrangement is a nightmare for both parents and children, arising either out of necessity or desperation.

There are myriad reasons for this: divorce, new partners, or a death in the family. Statistical data shows that only half of these estrangements are eventually reconciled, with the mechanisms of reconciliation remaining largely unverified.

My mother and I are estranged, both physically and emotionally. She, a former dancer from South America, resides in the rural province of Saarland and is deeply religious; I live in Hamburg and am not religious.

My parents divorced when I was 15, and I stayed with my alcoholic father. She left Hamburg with her new partner. When my father passed away, it left a great void and many unanswered questions. My mother was too far away by then to offer much assistance.

Years passed, and our relationship grew quieter; phone calls became brief, and the idea of meeting was scarcely mentioned.

Now, with our first child born, I find myself wondering what the future holds for us.

This is an attempt to reclaim what has been lost.